Homework
Schoolwork rattled its cage while homework dripped all over my pants.
I hated how messy homework could be. Mine seemed messier somehow than the other classmates’ homework did, which both pleased and aggravated me. I scanned around the classroom and no one else seemed to be struggling with their mess like I was. Maybe they had cleaned it before bringing it to school, I thought, but then I remembered that the instructions the day before from Miss Norris had been explicitly to not clean the homework, to leave it as it was found.
Schoolwork was annoyed about something. Probably hungry. Doubtless driven mad by the smell of all the homework.
If everyone else had cleaned their homework, I was going to get a star on the board. That would be so cool! I never got stars. Well, I did sometimes, but it was really rare, and it had been a long time. I looked over at the board and found my name halfway down. One and a half stars was my entire haul after all these years. Pathetic.
A fellow classmate named Marvin sat at the desk next to mine. Marvin had fucked up. I could tell. How he had fucked up, I wasn’t sure, but I knew the signs well by now. Everyone had different signals, different semaphores of distress. But waving flags were waving flags. He was shifty in his seat, nervously balling and unbaling his hands which even from a few meters away, looked clammy. His homework was hidden inside a canvas satchel on his desk. The air around him was tense.
Good, I thought. Fuck Marvin. I’ve never liked Marvin and I can’t wait for him to be found out, to be punished. I wanted to tease him, was desperate to lean over and ask him about his homework, but I knew the rules and I didn’t want to end up in as much trouble as him.
The gluey liquid dripping off my desk in a crimson stream was bothering me. And it smelt horribly. But I didn’t want to clean it up — Miss Norris’ warning echoed around in my head.
The classroom was cold and I could see my breath. Schoolwork liked the cold, so we all had to lump it. I zipped my coat up a little bit more and pulled my beanie further down over my ears. Harsh sunlight struggled to pierce dirty windows, throwing the room into a maze of criss-crossing light lasers. I enjoyed the effect. On my way to and from my desk I sometimes liked to pretend that they were in fact real lasers, the kind that cuts you to ribbons in movies, and I would dodge and dart around them until I arrived at my destination, or Miss Norris admonished me for being disruptive. There were no stars for that.
Marvin and I were second to last row. Between the last row and Schoolwork were four meters of greasy tiled floor. No one every went into that part of the classroom unless they had a good reason to. Being that close to Schoolwork could wind it up, make it agitated and cause it to clatter around in its cage. It was hard to get anything done with that din and Miss Norris absolutely hated it.
The inspection began. One desk by one desk, row by row. Eighteen homework’s to inspect. Familiar yet always strange sounds came from Schoolwork as Miss Norris functioned. She glanced over mine quickly and nodded her approval. I just knew a star was inbound. I stole a quick glance at the star board once more and I felt my pulse quicken ever so slightly.
Miss Norris took extra care examining Marvin’s gory satchel. And then frowned. Yes! I thought. Got him.
‘It’s from a pig, isn’t it, Marvin?’ The class erupted in laughter and jeers. ‘SILENCE. Faces forward. If I have to say it once, I’ve said it too many times.’ Seventeen mouths shut. Seventeen heads turned. And seventeen backs straightened.
I could see Marvin out of the corner of my eye, could hear his breath quicken.
‘Now Marvin. Why pig? Did you think it would be close enough to a human’s liver to fool me? Was that it? Hmmm? And say you had fooled me…what about Schoolwork? Do you really think you could have fooled it? Schoolwork made it desires quite clear. It always does. And when your plan failed, how do you think Schoolwork would have reacted? Well? Or not so well? Hmmm? It’s a very good job I caught you Marvin — we don’t want to displease Schoolwork, do we? EVERYONE?’
Seventeen voices in unison (Marvin was soundless, frozen in fear; the air around his desk the coldest of all): ‘NO, MISS NORRIS.’
‘We all remember what happened last time. Poor Mr Smart.’ She tutted and shook her head.
‘I know miss, I just couldn’t find the right person this time. It’s getting harder you see—'
‘Marvin? Did I give you permission to speak?’
I wanted to laugh and openly mock Marvin, the little shit, but I didn’t want to join him in his punishment, so my glee stayed inside. Miss Norris’ questions were not there to be answered. Idiot.
A trickle of yellow liquid pooled beneath Marvin’s feet and I could not help but smile. I doubted a quiet noiseless smile would get me in trouble. Only the two classmates behind would be able to see what I could, and the thought made me feel special, like I was in an exclusive gang who had the privilege of witnessing Marvin’s humiliation.
Miss Norris smiled and said: ‘Don’t worry, Marvin, mistakes happen. But it’s okay - within you, you have everything Schoolwork wants. Everything Schoolwork needs. Now be good boy and go wait by the cage while I grab the keys. And for the rest of you,’ her voice picked up, her smile vanished, ‘you know the rules: don’t look, don’t make any noise.’
I couldn’t help but peep over at Marvin while Miss Norris’ back was turned. I grinned at him when he caught my eye. His face was bloodless and he looked like he wanted to cry. Useless git. Serves you right, I mouthed.
The man’s liver on my desk had ceased its oozing and the blood on my pants was drying. I chose a big guy, for a big liver. It was as a good choice, and I would probably get a star for it, but it was a hell of a fight getting the fat fuck down.
Keys jingled from the front of the room as Miss Norris found them in a drawer. I was excited. I was going to get a star; of that I was sure. And it had been so long since there had been a live feeding. So, so long.